Sardonic, Squirrelly, and Slightly Satirical [CEP]

Here it is, a special little story, just for Someone (you know who you are). Fair warning: I’ve never attempted to write allegory or satire (or whatever this style of writing is called) before. I did my best, but this is still new stuff for me. Those of you who enjoy literary analysis should have fun with this one (except that it’s probably too easy).

Disclaimer: This story was written in a fit of pique and bitterness. I had had a rough day, and the admonition "You need to post" was just the last little bother that I didn't need. As a result, some of you might find reason to be insulted by the story. Although this was my intention as I wrote the story, the passage of a few days has cooled my raging emotions and shown me how childish my response was. I now offer the story simply as a story to be read for the fun of it. If you decide to be offended anyway...well, I'm sorry, but read the disclaimer under the title of my blog.

So, here goes nothing:

“Back to Square One”

Once upon a time, there was a young squirrel named Alan. He lived by himself in The Forest of Elyoo, at the top of a small tree in the middle of a field. He spent most of his time studying the various plants and animals that lived in The Forest. He was generally a very shy, quiet squirrel who didn’t go out of his way to make friends. But he was friendly enough with the squirrels around him, and he had a small group of close friends. Alan and his friends formed a group that they called the “Squirrel Convention.”

The other members of the Squirrel Convention lived in The Logs, a group of fallen trees at the edge of the field. They often encouraged Alan to join them in The Logs, but Alan was happy with his little tree. From his frequent visits to The Logs, he had seen the kind of effort that living there required. Residents modified their Logs several times a week, some as often as once a day. The main benefit of living in The Logs was that it allowed people to live together and thus keep in contact more easily. But since Alan could take a two-minute trip from his tree to The Logs to visit the Squirrel Convention, he didn’t see any reason to go to all the extra trouble of maintaining a Log.

So life went on for Alan and his Squirrel Convention friends. They studied, they socialized, and they generally had fun. Life was good.

Then, one summer, after a particularly brutal round of exhortations from the Squirrel Convention, Alan decided to move to The Logs. He reasoned that it would be worth the extra trouble to save the trips to and from The Logs and to stop his friends from pestering him. He packed up his belongings and moved from his small, private tree to a much larger and more crowded Log. His friends Bandanna and Skull (also known as “the Vindictive Curmudgeon”) were the first to welcome him to The Logs. Winston (alias “the Eccentric Epidemiologist”), Les (pronounced “less”), and Roller soon joined the welcoming party. By the time Ardent, Galapagos, Barbary, Dandy Moss, Brit, and Dullpound joined the others, Alan was feeling warm and fuzzy inside (as well as outside). He couldn’t believe he had been so firmly set against The Logs, and he looked forward to years of happy Logging.

At first, everything went smoothly. It took Alan a few days to adjust to his new lifestyle, but he enjoyed it all the same. His friends were encouraging and helpful, and Alan was generally pleased with the way things were.

But after a while, things took a turn for the worse. Alan was happy to leave his Log the way it was, making only occasional changes to it. But some of the other members of the Squirrel Convention didn’t like this attitude. They thought Alan needed to make more changes. They started to pester Alan again. Alan told them he was happy with his Log the way it was, but his friends wouldn’t listen. They insisted that he update his Log to fit the moods of the time. Alan made some minor changes to his Log, just to appease them, but it wasn’t enough; the next week, the Squirrel Convention was back again, demanding more changes and newer styles.

Alan was torn. He wanted to stay on good terms with his friends, but he just didn’t seem to fit into their particular way of life. He tried to keep up with the ever-changing ways of The Logs, but after a few weeks he had had enough. If he couldn’t run his Log his own way, he wouldn’t bother trying. One morning late in autumn, he packed his things and moved back to his little tree in the field.

Alan remained a part of the Squirrel Convention, and he still got along with his friends. But he was always a little sad when he remembered those first good days in The Logs, and he tried not to think about how things could have been.

The End